Dad bans 14-year-old daughter from going to the movie theater with her friends because she got 85% on her math test and 87% on her physics test: 'She burst into tears, but I had to stay firm in my decision.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 17, 2026 8:30 PM EDT

Is he being too harsh on his daughter? 

There are a lot of parents out there who do not tolerate their kids getting less-than-perfect grades. If their kid gets an 89 on a quiz, they aren't allowed to see their friends for a month. I think most of us can agree that such punishment is too harsh and doesn't achieve the results parents want. They think that being harsh on their kids will make them disciplined and high-achieving. In reality, kids who aren't internally motivated to be the best at everything will resent their parents for viewing them negatively for being average, or even above average. Some kids will beat themselves up for not getting perfect grades seemingly out of nowhere. Their parents don't particularly care whether they're an A+ or a B- student: they care more that their student is trying their best, and not going overboard. 

Kids who come from families with high expectations might appreciate the discipline their parents instilled in them from a young age, but there's a better chance that they will learn that no amount of hard work and achievement will buy their parents love and affection. They can always be "better," and if they learn that their best isn't good enough, they won't be motivated to try at all. 

The dad in this story, u/OldDadWithABadIdea, thought that banning his daughter from seeing the movie version of her favorite webseries would be sufficient punishment for getting a B and a B+ on tests. I would understand if she had failed the tests, but is a B worth all of this?

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  • 01
    A teenage girl crying because her dad forbade her from going to the movies with her friends during a sleepover.
    via Zhivko Minkov

    A teenage girl crying because her dad forbade her from going to the movies with her friends during a sleepover.

    Recreated scenario included to enhance reader understanding.

  • 02

    Am I the bad guy for banning my daughter from seeing the Incredible Digital Circus movie?

    So, for a little backstory, my (14F) daughter, Viviana (Viv for short) has always been a fan of this internet show called the "Incredible Digital Circus". It seems okay, it looks like it teaches good lessons to kids at first glance, and I have no problem with the content of it.
    via u/OldDadWithABadIdea
  • 03
    However, recently, my daughter has been letting up her grades in school, much to my dismay. I have repeatedly told Viv that grades are important, and that it sets up both good habits and good relationships by being a high achiever. I don't ever cross the line and force her or punish her for diminishing grades, well, at least
    via u/OldDadWithABadIdea
  • 04
    not until recently. Recently, the Incredible Digital Circus movie came out and, as a fan, Viv was begging me to take her to it. I promised her that, if she got at least 90% on both her upcoming mathematics test and physics practical investigation, that I would take her to it.
    via u/OldDadWithABadIdea
  • 05
    Sadly, she did not produce the results I was hoping for; earning a 87% on her mathematics and a 85% on her physics. While I always try for positive reinforcement, I couldn't let this one slip and, despite her constant pleas, I didn't take her to the movie.
    via u/OldDadWithABadIdea
  • 06
    A crowd of people are watching the movie that the daughter in this story was forbidden from seeing.
    via Krists Luhaers

    A crowd of people are watching the movie that the daughter in this story was forbidden from seeing. 

    Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.

  • 07
    I also told her that, as she had an upcoming sleepover (which I wouldn't dare take away) that she will be in big trouble if she chooses to go during that sleepover. Our family is on Life360 so she knows that I'll be checking her location to see if she follows my rules (please do not bother lecturing me about Life360, it's me
    via u/OldDadWithABadIdea
  • 08
    Parents track their daughter on Life360 to make sure that she isn't going to the movies with her friends.
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    Parents track their daughter on Life360 to make sure that she isn't going to the movies with her friends.

    Stock photography for depiction only.

  • 09
    and my wife's choice.) When telling her this, she burst into tears (which hurt me as a father), but I had to stay strong and firm in my decision and set an example, which led to her running to her room and locking herself in, not even coming out for family dinner that night.
    via u/OldDadWithABadIdea
  • 10
    Even after talking to her about this, she insists that I'm a "bad parent", and even my wife is starting to take her side. AITA?
    via u/OldDadWithABadIdea
  • 11
    idcrisisangels YTA lol 85 and 90 are so close it essentially doesn't even matter
    via u/idcrisisangels
  • 12
    Patronstea Honestly, I kinda see that. 87 and 85 are still solid grades. Maybe a compromise would have been better.
    via u/Patronstea
  • 13
    Imsortofok Exactly. OP sounds like one of those parents that treats anything less than their idea Of perfect like: "You only got 1580 on your SAT? What about those other 20 points? I'm disappointed in you."
    via u/Imsortofok
  • 14
    beththereader YTA. 90% is an unbelievable amount of pressure to put on your child and a ridiculous expectation all round. The fact that she came so close is an incredible achievement.. If I had a daughter as dedicated and intelligent as yours clearly is, I would be so d in proud.
    via u/beththereader
  • 15
    TankNo8666 Making kid feel that 87 and 85 are failure bc these ain't 90 is ridiculous and punishing over it is cruel
    via u/TankNo8666
  • 16
    ScroochDown Yeah my mother was like this. I could get almost straight As and she would freak out about the one B. I had a nervous breakdown in college, never finished, and at 47 I still have the occasional nightmare about getting my report card in the mail.
    via u/ScroochDown
  • 17
    Useful Language2040 Have you been helping her study? Teaching her how to study effectively..? Or just hanging this over her head?
    via u/Useful_Language2040
  • 18
    DookieShoes626 YTA without a doubt, your kid is going to hate you when your older
    via u/DookieShoes626
  • 19
    ShapeShiftingCats She will hate herself too. No achievement will be worth celebrating to her and she will deeply unhappy with herself. Ask me how I know. YTA
    via u/ShapeShiftingCats
  • 20
    Upset Pickle3846 Yeah this is how parents turn their kids into liars then wonder why they lie YTA
    via u/Upset_Pickle3846
  • 21
    Lcdmt3 This is how parents create kids who won't even try anymore, because even if they try their hardest and didn't get the right grade, it's not good enough so why even try
    via u/Lcdmt3

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Tags

mathematics physics teenager teenagers parenting sleepover dad test daughter math Parenting Fail crying Parenting FAILS
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